5k Eve: Doubt & the Last Two Weeks

So this is when the doubt sets in.

Actually, it started this past Monday.  As I got within days, rather than weeks, of running my first 5k race, I experienced some feelings I hadn't had since before my first bike race (way back) in 2006.

What have I got to prove? Why do I need to do this?

Back in 2006, the answer was pretty clear - "Because I Can."  I'd been diagnosed with Crohn's Disease a few years before and my first bike race was the culmination of a period of health reassessment and discovering a type of exercise I didn't loathe.  The thrill of competition and the many friends I ended up making along the way were the surprising icing on the cake.

It's a bit different now.  I'm 8 years older and shouldn't have anything to prove.  Going from little/no physical activity to being a licensed bike racer is a bigger step than "just taking up another sport."  In a sense, I've already done the "big thing" so tomorrow's race shouldn't be all that big a deal.

But there will be a host of others for whom tomorrow's race will be their Big Deal - their personal triumph over whatever adversity had kept them from doing it before.

So I guess, in a sense, my reason for doing this remains the same.  Because I can.  And because I want to be around others who are discovering for the first time that they can.  That feeling is wonderful - and it's contagious.  And no matter what the weather turns out to be, nothing will quench that feeling.

Oh - and the hat.  I'm doing it for the hat too.  Yeah, it's a little bizarre how much I want that stupid green knit cap.

It's been a busy couple of weeks of training.  And, if for no other reason than just memorializing it here so that I don't forget when I'm old and gray (well, I'm already graying - ok, and I'm a little old too), here are a few random thoughts & pics since my last post...

3/4/14 - c25k week 5 #2

Another cold, early morning run.  This time it didn't get over 7 degrees.  Brrrr!

3/6 - c25k wk5#3

Longest run so far - 20 minutes straight.  As recently as this past January, I couldn't run for more than 3-5 minutes without my joints/ligaments screaming in pain.

Also, I finally got my butt back in the saddle & rode my bike on rollers while The Missus did her workout DVD.  I couldn't believe how sketchy I felt.  Just year before last I'd been able to ride the rollers no-handed.  Guess I'm a bit rusty.

3/8 - c25k wk6#1 & First Bike Ride of 2014

I did another 20 minute run in the morning and then took my bike out for a breath of fresh air.  Not only was I able to meet up with most of the usual Saturday Morning Ride gang, but EXPO teammates Jason & Steve joined us as well, insuring that I'd risk getting my road bike dirty instead of taking my MTB as I'd planned.  It was great to ride outside again (for the first time since December!)

3/10 c25k wk6#2

After the taste of Spring we got on Saturday and the look of Spring we got on Sunday, with the start of Daylight Savings Time, my Monday morning run was a bit of a shock.  Not only was I back to running in pitch blackness, but about 1/3 of the way into it, it started to snow.  The effect of my light shining ahead through the falling flakes really was like running through the stars.

3/11 Bib Arrives!

So I got my first running race bib.  This event probably could have merited a post all by itself, but probably not without wearing out a few cliches.  Still pretty cool though.

With the arrival of the bib, I discovered something else had started to arrive.... allergies - or a cold.  Whatever.  I was starting to feel SOMEthing coming on, and I didn't like it...

3/12 c25k wk6#3 - week 6 DONE

5/100ths short

For my "graduation" run - the last run I'd do before my first race - I decided to amp up my playlist by adding an additional song.  I'll probably get into a playlist discussion at some point, 'cuz I'm probably not the only one to find music so motivating (and sometimes the only thing, literally, that keeps me running).  In fact, not being able to use my earbuds during tomorrow's race is the thing I fear most - I suspect it's going to make the race much more of a mental challenge than just physical.

ANYway, my playlist is made up of my favorite, up-beat CCM tunes - all carefully calibrated to have just the right BPM for my pace.  But my musical taste is pretty eclectic and includes everything from CCM to Classical, Baroque to Bluegrass and Big Band.  And I do have some old Rock as well....

So, incongruously, I added Led Zeppelin's "Rock & Roll" to the end of my playlist.  I knew that my last run would be my longest, and I wanted to do well.  I also knew that I was at "diminished capacity" since whatever I was fighting, whether allergies or an actual cold, was still hanging on.

So at the bottom of my "warmup hill," I started my playlist and started running - intending to run until the music stopped.

Zeppelin was still playing when I got to the RR station parking lot (also where my coffee shop is), so I did a lap around the lot - much to the amusement of the local commuters.  I'm sure they couldn't miss me with my headlight bobbing up and down.

When the final drumbeat faded away, I stopped in front of the coffee shop and stopped my Garmin.  I'd run my longest run - 3.05 miles.  5/100ths short of being my first 5k.

Which suited me fine.  It would have been anticlimactic to run my first 5k all by myself.  At least tomorrow I'll be able to commemorate it with a few (hundred) others.  And there will be chili.  And a hat.

So now when I ask myself "why am I doing this?" my answer may just as well be - "why not?"